I think it is important to realize that college prepares you for the field you choose and gives you a great educational base in that area of expertise. But, it does not prepare you for life lol nothing does. Life is the most chaotic, random but beautiful thing ever. Your life and what is happening in it will alter your experience in your industry and vice versa. Here are some lessons that I have learned in my first year and a half out of college that I think everyone can benefit from.
1. Nothing goes even remotely close to plan. You come out of college super ambitious and everyone does a great job of making everything seem like it'll be all rainbows and gumdrops when you graduate. Let me be the first to tell you, that will not be the case and life does a pretty good job of slapping you in the face with a reality check real quick. Chances are you are not going to graduate college and have a 6 figure job waiting for you, and that's okay. You may not be married by 25 like you planned and that's okay. You may not be able to afford to do much because student loans suck up every ounce of extra cash you have. There will be curveballs thrown at you and sometimes you will feel like you don't know how anything could get any worse but it is important to realize that everything, the good and the bad is all helping you create your own story that will hopefully turn out better than the one you envisioned. 2. Don't chase a career, chase a passion. This is something I think is so so so important! As I entered the workforce I realized real quick that there are a lot of people who have just been in their jobs for so long because it is comfortable and dependable and guess what, they are freakin miserable. When you ask them the question "if you could do any job in the world, what would it be?" they answer with something that is so far from the job that they are doing currently and their faces light up just talking to you about it. It is their true passion. The only reason they don't pursue it is because of fear but you seriously can't avoid things because you are scared. I moved 12 hours away from everyone I know. Was I scared? a little but it was hands down one of the best decisions I have ever made. Some of the best things in life are on the other side of fear. This may sound harsh but those conversations that I have had with coworkers right there happened to me enough times to realize that I never want to turn out like them. I never want to be stuck in a job because its comfortable and dependable because I have experience in doing that and it SUCKSS. Trust me a job is not worth trading your sanity or happiness. If you are miserable, quit. If that feels to drastic for you then start taking minor steps on the side and set up something for when you leave your other job. If you are miserable and feel stuck, it is your job to change that. 3. It's okay to not have it all together all of the time. I think now more than ever we feel this immense pressure to look like we have it together all of the time especially with social media rubbing everyone's achievements and happiness in our faces. We all only show the best parts of our lives out of fear of what people might think. Guess what? people care more about you being authentic, genuine and relatable. The truth is people hurt and you need to allow yourself to feel every emotion in order to heal from whatever you are dealing with. It's okay. Try sharing more authentic pieces of yourself and watch how many lives you touch or how many other people you can relate to. 4. Perspective is beautiful. Life is all about perspective. If you are only paying attention to the "bad" things, you are going to have a really negative outlook on life as a whole. You have to change your perspective. Start looking at everything with a more positive outlook even the "bad" things. For example. if you lose your job, you can either dwell on it or you can look at it as an opportunity to do something new in your life. When you start focusing on more positive aspects of life then life starts to look more beautiful to you. 5.Pace yourself. We all feel so rushed all of the time. You need to be married at this age, you need to have kids before 30, you need to be making 6 figures by 25. Just cut through all of that BS and pace yourself. It's again especially hard when you see your friends hitting certain marks in their life. Instead of look at their achievements with jealousy and poor self reflection, just be happy for them and the way their life is unfolding for them. You are not on some fixed schedule and the universe has its own timing for you so just relax and grab another vodka cranberry and enjoy the ride. 6.Don't take anything for granted. One of the biggest lessons. Life comes at you quick and in a split second everything you know and love can change. Try your hardest to express gratitude to the things and people that matter the most. I have made it a personal goal of mine to make my loved ones know more often how much I love them and am grateful for them because sadly they are not going to be around forever . I have also made it a goal to tell people who have positively impacted my life, just how they did as well as mend old friendships where we grew apart because I miss them and our friendship dearly. Appreciate and express your gratitude and love while you still can. 7. If you have the opportunity to do something new, do it! You are young and I guarantee you that half of the opportunities that present themselves to you now, will never present themselves again. You have the ability to travel to another country? Go. You want to pack up and move across the country? Go. You never want to look back and regret all of the things you chose not to do. 8. You are a product of the people you surround yourself with. It is proven that you pick up characteristics of the people you spend the most time with so make sure that you are surrounding yourself with people that you wouldn't mind being like. 9. No one gives a F*** that you have a degree. Don't be entitled because no one cares that you went to college and have this great degree. Just prove your talent and skill set and that will speak for itself in the workplace. The reality is, it is so competitive out there and you will be replaced at the drop of a hat. 10. Have some fun! Yay! We are here being responsible adults. Grab a drink, pay your bills and do your best to enjoy everything life throws at you. Student loans are a sad fact of life just pay them if you are able. Go out with the girls even on the nights you just want to stay in, I promise you will have a better time than you think. Send your loved ones postcards or letters. Call your grandparents. Travel, even it's just small road trips. Live a little and enjoy the ride! Be kind & Spread love xoxo Alyssa
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honey, you are going to move mountains.
Standing on top of a mountain free at peace warm infinite hopeful optimisitc driven confident loving Etc. Over the past two years of my life, I began to realize that things I was stressing about things that were really were well......pretty insignificant. You have to allow yourself to feel but then you take those feelings and ask "Well why does this make me feel like this?" You need to live for yourself. Seek the company of others. The people who make you feel happy, inspired, loved and appreciated. Seek these people out, learn from them and love every moment. After all, we become a combination of the 5 people we are the closest too so be sure that they are all people with qualities you want to have. Make your own happiness. Go out to breakfast alone. Go on adventures with your dog. Do anything that puts a smile on your face and realize the beauty of being able to make yourself smile so big. I am a firm believer that you need to be unbelievably comfortable and in tune with who you are as a person to be truly happy. You want to change things? Do it! Get self-development books and read to grow as a person. Plan to move across country if you know that, that is where your soul will flourish. Definitely don't wait for the "perfect" moment to do anything because that moment will never come. Dive in, take control of your life and change everything you want to. After all, you are the only thing standing in your way of accomplishing everything that you want. You don't want to do something? Don't! You don't owe an explanation to anybody and honey, you sure as heck don't have to don't answer to anybody. Explore. Travel the world. Hike through the woods and go adventures through places around you. Cut out things that are holding you back. People, jobs, places, absolutely anything that is keeping you from being yourself and developing further. Please let go of grudges. Do this for yourself. There is no need to hold on the negativity and bitter energy and it is doing nothing but holding you back from progressing as a person. So drink the milkshakes, eat the doughnuts, move to the new place where you don't know anyone and start living for yourself. Live like tomorrow isn't guaranteed because guess what? it isn't. So stand up, let the stress melt away and say "I going to start living for me and no one else" here we are, 20 years old.
young loving kind free growing & awkward The only way I can describe this time between living at home & being in high school and the time where you are transforming into an adult with responsibilities is.....AWKWARD. At this point you've become so wedged between childhood and adulthood it's confusing and any extra guidance is appreciated. Here are some extra tips to get you through the good and the bad of these weird years. 1. You don't owe anyone anything. Know yourself and stick true to what you believe, appreciate and enjoy. You don't want to go out? Don't and the beauty is you don't have to make up an excuse because you don't answer to anyone. Live this life for you. Be kind but dont be such a people pleaser that you are miserable because you are living a life others are molding for you. 2. You'll become close to people just to have them become strangers again. People come and go, they always will. You'll find yourself super close to people that you can't imagine your life without then before you know it 2 years pass and you see them at Starbucks. With absolutely no clue what's going on in their life. That's okay and it doesn't hurt to ask them how they have been. There will always be that handful of people who have been with you through it all and always will be, stay loyal to them! 3. Tip more. Experience life beyond your precious little iPhone. Go out and get to know people. Communitcate. Be kind. 4. Parents. cherish them and love them with all of your heart. I am very fortunate to say that my parents have become my best friends. In high school, we all think "gosh can't you let me live" or "wow I can't wait to leave" at least once when it comes to our parents but now when I am home from school I want nothing more than to be around them, laugh with them and learn more from them. I love you guys and I will always have my Sunday's reserved for breakfast with you mom & dad 💕 5.Siblings = less I hate you and more, when will you be home? I miss you. my siblings and I used to struggle to like each other when we were younger. We were well behaved children when we had to be but boy did my brothers know how to push my buttons. Yelling, screaming, punching, tackling lol you name it. One by one we left the house and experienced our own things. As time went on we found ourselves telling each other everything and offering advice to one another more than we were arguing. We began to realize that not only are our parents our best friends but we've become each other's best friends. My brothers are two of the few people that I trust with my whole heart. I'm constanly asking myself.... 6. #amiachild? You're running in the lawn with the babies of the family or your beloved dogs. Dancing in your room. Have to do chores when asked. Mad because you hate folding laundry. Washing the dishes because your mom said if you do she'd buy you a milkshake. Buying rather unimportant things. Dreaming of crazy vacations. OR 7. #oramianadult? Bills. Creating a savings. Understanding taxes. Budgeting. Limiting the shopping. Working all week. Being your own person. Student loans. Debt. Setting goals 8. Somewhere in between 6 & 7 again awkwardly placed between paying bills and having make your bed in the morning because "it looks sloppy" even though no one sees it throughout the day. 9. Seeking wise words from older people in your life. I look at my parents and think "hell, how did they do it all?" I have endless notes in my phone of outstanding advice I hear throughout my days. I have been blessed with very wise and strong people in my life and they help nurture my growth. 10. Loss/grief/heartbreak A sudden absence of a person who you have spent so much time getting to know, love and creating memories with, will never be an easy experience. If it's a family member or friend, know that they are with you wherever you go. Watching proudly over you and pushing you in the right direction. I've lost a lot of family members so grief and hurt is something I've come to know all to well. To my guardian angels, thanks for watching me and I'll bring the doughnuts to the gates. If it's a breakup, understand that it is all a growing experience. Just because you breakup doesn't mean that someday you won't be together again but also know that a breakup could be a blessing in disguise. Every relationship teaches you a lesson so yes your heart may hurt right now and when it's time you'll be able to reflect on what worked/what didn't. Ending a relationship will shape you in a way that allows to discovering more of yourself and become one step closer to finding your soulmate. Feel and let yourself heal but try to see the positives. At this age, sometimes I just want to be held by my mom but then again no one can make me laugh and calm me like Tom and my friends. 11.Spontaneous road trips go on them. Grab whomever, Buy twizzlers, Red Bull and Doritos. Pick some place random. Get a nice road trip playlist (90s-early 2000s is always a win). Drive. Drive. Drive. You'd be amazed how many memories and laughs come out of these trips. •As awkward as this time of life is, love it all. Understand that bad things do happen but so do great things. Trust me, it alllllllll works out in the end. One day you'll be standing in the kitchen watching your husband and daughter eat pancakes together. They will be giggling around the table in your cozy little home that once was just a house and in that moment you'll realize that you are there because of your past. The things you'd thought you'd never get through, the times you were devasted at the way life is going all poetically come together to make the beautiful life you've dreamed about since you little. Will it be stress free? HAHA no but you'll learn how to handle it in your own ways. Will there be times that you hurt so bad you feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest? Yup, sadly there will be. Will there be times you are laughing so hard with friends and family that your stomach starts aching? For sure and boy do I look forward to those days. life is a catch 22 and the awkward, stressful, exciting and loving times have only just begun. Grow strong & love life hard babes 💕 xoxo As a 20 year old, I most definitely do not have all of the answers to life or know the key to happiness. I do however, have experiences that have taught me a whole plethora of things and that is what I want to share with you, hoping in some way it resonates with you or is just what you needed to hear. So let's get to the point, this is what I've learned about........
Friends. It's a great TV show. anyway, seriously let's talk about friends. Throughout life you make so many friends and when you are making memories with them, you tend to think that they are going to be in your life forever. But sadly that isn't the reality of it. Friends come and go, it's inevitable. Sometimes it'll hurt but understand that people grow apart and life will take you on separate paths. You may become entirely different people than who you were when that friendship started, which is completely fine life changes you. You'll make new friends along the way that are on your new path of life, some of them will come into your life and stay forever. The friends who stay by your side through the tough times of self discovery, losses of loved ones, awkward phases, wild times, those who are honest and have played such a key role in who you are today and who you want to be. Those are the forever friends. Those are the bridesmaids/groomsmen in your wedding and the godparents to your future children. You will make these friends throughout your entire life and making new friends, although slightly terrifying, is completely exciting! Know that some people are only meant to be in your life temporarily but don't lose the memories you had with them and don't forget who they are. Understand the beauty of getting to know someone new. Learn their stories that lead them to be who they are today, where they want to go, what they want to do. Be their shoulder to cry on, their therapist, their 2am drives and most of all be their person. To all my loves. Thank you for staying with me through it all even when it hasn't been the easiest. You know who you are and I love you dearly. If we are in the beginning a new friendship, I already adore you so much and I look forward to making new memories with you. Wanna be friends? there is always room for more. here's to building new relationships, strengthening current ones, and appreciating old ones. Social Media. Ahhhh the thing I love to hate. I have always been someone who just has social media to be myself and stay connected to others but good grief is it an annoying thing. As a society we have become SOOOO obsessed with what everyone else is doing that we often loose ourselves in the process. You only post what you want people to see and social media provides you with a platform that allows you to be a totally different person than who you actually are. But I urge you to realize the level of addiction we are all experiencing. I took a step away from social media a while back and it was the best 4 months of my life because there were stories people had to tell me since I didn't see the video/picture/status they posted. Oh, how I miss the beauty of telling stories of an experience. We have come to a time where it is more of a "oh yeah I saw your post of instagram" reaction to a story and rarely a "wow really? that sounds amazing, tell me more!" reaction because chances are they saw you post somewhere about it. It took me stepping away from it all to really come to terms with what I had been using my social media for, sadly it was for acceptance and not myself. Now mind you it was in high school when I did this and I barely even knew who I was in real life, making it hard to know what I should portray on social media. I don't completely hate social networking, heck if it wasn't for instagram half of you wouldn't read my blogs anyway :) I'm simply saying that through realizing the level of control it can take over your life, it will become clearer to you the need to pull yourself away from it every once and a while. It's sad that it took me completely cutting myself off from social media to understand the addiction I had and the toll it took on my self-esteem and attitude but that realization and social media detox lead me to discover more of who I am in reality and allowed me to become more involved with what is actually happening around me. So please just sometimes put the phone down and experience what is around you. Stop using the phone at the dinner table. Pick up a magazine and read current issues in the dentist office instead of scrolling through twitter. You are more than the likes, comments and shares you receive and not everyone needs to know everything about your life. Keep some things for people to discover on their own and of course make sure it's a person who deserves to know those special things about you. Mean People. HA! They are everywhere and sometimes they are even people you were once friendly with. There will always be someone who decides to say something negative and judgmental, sadly. Just know these people, be aware of them and distance yourself from them. We all have experienced mean people, it is a way in life. Whether it's through a subtweet, indirect post on Facebook, or a rude comment on Instagram, it is all something we have witnessed, been on the receiving end of it or even the person doing it. Don't ever let someone affect your happiness or level of self worth because of what they say or believe about you. If they are going out of their way to say something about you and people feed into that, it'll show you more about the human race than you ever could imagine. The best advice I have ever gotten from was "there will always be people who don't like you and people who will have something judgmental to say about whatever it is that you are doing. It's a fact of life. Whatever they say, just know that it says more about their character than it does for yours" and that to this day is something I repeat to myself to get me through the tough moments. If someone is mean to you just step back and think or even say to them "I feel so bad for you that you don't love yourself enough or life has treated you in such a way that the only happiness you get is by putting other people down." Whatever they say, isn't true. You are beautiful just the way you are (like Bruno Mars said lol). No matter what race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, sexual preference, culture, religion you are or what you wear, what your size is, how much makeup you do/don't wear, where you shop, your economic status, etc. You truly are beautiful and don't ever give someone the power to make you feel any other way.. You are unique and there is no one out there like you. You are loved by SOOOOOO many people for being exactly who you are and don't forget that. Be kind. Spread love & love yourself for everything you are. You're perfect. and Life. oh my how life is such a short precious thing. Something so valuable and taking for granted, not on purpose but we tend to overlook the reality of life. It can end at any moment, scary I know and I'm sure it sounds a bit more morbid than you were expecting but because I have suffered from the loss of so many loved ones, as I am sure all of you have, I was forced to understand the reality of life. We all have a timer attached to us that begins counting down from the moment we are born to the moment we take our last breath. In this amount of time we want to learn, grow, live on your own, bond with family, make friends, become successful for something you are passionate about, fall in love and live our lives to the fullest. But the scary reality of this timer we have is, we don't know the amount of time we started with and we don't know how much time is left. I urge you to live for today, live for this moment. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not next year. Live for right now. I actually believe there is beauty and a sense of freedom when you come to this realization that life is not a permanent thing and live truly as if tomorrow it could all be over. You become fearless, passionate and make unbelievable memories with people you love. There are no limits. You want to go to Europe, okay buy the tickets. You want to skydive, find the place that provides that and go. You want to see family members you grew apart from, get in the car and go. You want to go on an adventure, find a place, grab some friends and go. You want to be a nicer person, compliment that girl you pass everyday at 8 a.m. with amazing looking makeup/ cute jacket or even just say hello, you wouldn't believe how much a simple hello can change a persons day. Buy the next person in line coffee. Bring your mom flowers. Make your loved ones feel appreciated. Mend old friendships that were left on odd terms or ended for a dumb reason. Apologize to people you have done wrong. Teach yourself a new skill. Whatever it is you want to do, please do it. Live for today! The view from a plane window always opens your eyes to just how small the problems that haunt you actually are. You come to the realization that these things shouldn't be taking up your energy, clogging your thoughts or affect your satisfaction with life.
I have found that over the past year a key to my happiness is when something is happening in my life that seems crazy new or unsettling, I take a step back and say "it's okay, take it for what it is because this isn't worth the stress." Life gets bumpy and we have times where we think "can I just have a break, please?" and it is okay to feel that way. We have all had these moments, but what matters is how you let those tough times shape and change you. Sometimes we all need to be told "it's okay" to help validate the decisions and choices we are making in life along with reassuring you that the events happening in your life are happening for a reason.Understand that: It's okay to be spontaneous. Being scared is natural when it comes to new things. It's okay to have tremendous goals that seem unrealistic to others. Not knowing exactly what you want to do in life at the age of 20, is okay. Having your life figured out and knowing exactly where you want to go, is okay. It's okay to step outside of your bubble and take a chance on something new. Taking things out of your life and adding more positive things to better yourself is more than okay. It's okay to walk away from things that are holding you back from living life to the fullest. Not having it all together all the time is perfectly okay, after all you are only human and you are allowed to fall apart every now and again. It's okay to grow apart from friends, realize the other ones you have and appreciate them. It's okay to have failed that one stats test, you'll pass the next one! Heartbreaks are never easy and you won't heal fast from losing loved ones or ending relationships, that's okay. It's okay to be in love and open yourself up again after a heartbreak. Don't close your future off because of your past. Taking the bad things and learning from them is vital. Life lessons show you the situations to invest your energy in and the ones that just aren't worth it. Learn when to say "it's okay" in life because this will allow you to be more humble, happier, driven, empathetic and understanding to other people who may/are going through similar things. We are all on different paths in life where we are attempting to reach goals of happiness, healthiness, and stability. Life is full of changes that test you. Whether good or bad, everything you go through is going to change you in some way. I'm here to help you see that if life seems like it's knocking you down repeatedly or you are bombarded with big decisions, exciting changes/resolutions, it is all going to be okay and work out in the end. As I've said before I have grown tremendously while in college and this time at home has caused me to grow even more. I have goals as to where I want to be in life and what I want to work on as well as an even better outlook on my life and the people I have in it. As I have learned from experiences in my own life I want to share and give advice in anyway I can. So please: Love. Fall in love with yourself. Build self-confidence by thinking positive thoughts about your appearance, body and personality. Know your worth and love everything about yourself. Love your family. They play such a key part in the formation of your definition of what love is and what it looks like. Love the way they tease. Love the way they care. Love the way they guide you. Love others. Love friends and the people you seek as significant others. Accept their unique qualities, understand their perspectives and fall in love with everything that makes them an individual. Be fearless. Allow yourself to feel the deep emotions that everyone seems to be so terrified of feeling these days. Love the world and the beauty that surrounds you. Love the way the seasons change. Love the way people make you believe in the unbelievable. Learning to love in the most genuine ways opens so many doors in life and will only make it a million times more enjoyable. Change. If you aren't changing then you are not doing anything to challenge yourself or grow. I am a totally different person than who I was in high school and I have zero regrets about that. I became a better, more complete person by making the choice to change myself so I could led happier with life. Change is GREAT! Set goals for yourself to make yourself a better person. Then set more to become an even better person. Change the way you spend your free time. Open your mind to new experiences that will allow you to grow and form into the person you want to be. Step out of your comfort zones. Form opinions on concepts and current issues. Eat healthier and workout. You may see that some people don't like who you are changing into and that is usually because they are uncomfortable with the idea of you changing. You may not fit into the standards or expectations that they have for you but that is okay. That's great! Be your own person. Don't ever allow someone to make you feel guilty for changing into a better version of yourself. Learn. Open your mind to any and everything. Watch the news. Educate yourself on things of interest to you or things you want to learn more about. If there is something that you are passionate about or can't stop talking about when someone brings it up, learn more about it. Don't hide the things that make you passionate, no matter what people say. Learn that there is more to life than materialistic things. Talk intellectually with others because this will make you learn even more about other perspectives and values people have. Travel. Learn about other cultures and the way of life of other people in the world. Learn about international and national issues/current events. Learn about others. What they enjoy and what they don't. Learn your flaws and accept them. Learning and change lead to dramatic growth and that will prove highly beneficial to your life. Be happy. One of the most important things I have learned is how to make myself happy. Being happy is completely ambiguous because there are very many different things that make each and every one of us happy. Take where you are now and see what it will take you to do to become truly happy with your life as a whole, and do it! People will try and bring you down. They will try to make you feel bad for the way you are changing or the life you are choosing but don't let them. Don't let anyone ruin your growth or alter your satisfaction with life. Forgive people that have done you wrong because grudges aren't worth it. Become so happy with your life that it is almost sickening to others. Be a inspiration for others and guide them to want to make their lives happier. Find the way of life that fuels you and makes you excited to live. Do what makes you happy. Be happy because life is too short to be living any other way. |